Is letting an old friendship end easier than attempting to revive it?
As you know from my recent posts, I spent a few days in and around San Francisco this past week. The trip was unexpected and more of a last-minute thing. As I was making the travel arrangements, I reminded myself that I know someone in San Francisco- a long lost cousin and friend.
Alireza and I are about the same age and we became closer friends during a Summer I spent with his family in Tehran, long …. long time ago. Together with his younger brother, Amir Hossein, we spent our time playing around, bothering each other and on occasions, fighting. Our favorite game was “Yek Ghol-Do Ghol”. An old Iranian game, it involves spreading, juggling and moving around 5 marbles or stones of the same size. I was the glowing champion. Amir Hossein usually took the 3rd place and didn’t really care. But Alireza was very competitive and definitely not a graceful loser. I also remember my eldest cousin (their brother) very well. How can I describe him? Abdolreza was the nicest version of a bully. 😈 Since he was much older, he had the privilege of ordering and pushing us around, especially me. He would wake up early in the morning and scream for everyone to wake up and finalize it all by pulling my leg and throwing me off the bed. Abdolreza didn’t like anyone to enter his sacred room and the door was always locked. But how little did he know. I think it was Amir Hossein who had found a way to pick the lock. We would go in and play around with all his stuff (and he had lots of interesting things) for hours while he was out. Ah, sweet revenge! 😛
Anyhow, the tree of us grew up and followed our own paths. Somewhere along the way; we stopped keeping in touch. Over 20 years passed by without us talking to or seeing each other. That is until recently. Amir Hoseein was brave enough to look us up. He found me through my sister’s Facebook profile and left a comment on this blog for me. It was a perfectly nice surprise. I always remember him with a bright smile on and hope he has managed to keep the smile going.
When you stop talking to someone for as many years as we had; it becomes an odd and difficult task to start the dialog. But I wanted to give it a chance. So I called Alireza prior to leaving for San Francisco. Once I heard his familiar voice and we started talking, everything seemed easy. We finally met each other along with our spouses. Alireza and his lovely wife showed us great hospitality and we enjoyed their company. I also realized that my cousin is much nicer and more pleasant than I remembered him. Aging must agree with him 😉 .
By keeping out of touch, we tend to gradually tune out of each other’s lives. It does not necessary mean that we cease to care or like one another. We become entangled in the web of life and in surviving it; we forget about many important things.
So, is it easy to breathe new life into an old friendship? The hardest part is always in initiating an effort and taking the first step forward. All I know for certain is that it is an effort and a step worth taking.
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