Renewing Old Friendships

July 28, 2010

Is letting an old friendship end easier than attempting to revive it?

As you know from my recent posts, I spent a few days in and around San Francisco this past week. The trip was unexpected and more of a last-minute thing. As I was making the travel arrangements, I reminded myself that I know someone in San Francisco- a long lost cousin and friend.

Alireza and I are about the same age and we became closer friends during a Summer I spent with his family in Tehran, long …. long time ago. Together with his younger brother, Amir Hossein, we spent our time playing around, bothering each other and on occasions, fighting. Our favorite game was “Yek Ghol-Do Ghol”.  An old Iranian game, it involves spreading, juggling and moving around 5 marbles or stones of the same size. I was the glowing champion. Amir Hossein usually took the 3rd place and didn’t really care. But Alireza was very competitive and definitely not a graceful loser. I also remember my eldest cousin (their brother) very well. How can I describe him? Abdolreza was the nicest version of a bully. 😈  Since he was much older, he had the privilege of ordering and pushing us around, especially me. He would wake up early in the morning and scream for everyone to wake up and finalize it all  by pulling my leg and throwing me off the bed. Abdolreza didn’t like anyone to enter his sacred room and the door was always locked. But how little did he know. I think it was Amir Hossein who had found a way to pick the lock. We would go in and play around with all his stuff (and he had lots of interesting things) for hours while he was out. Ah, sweet revenge! 😛

Anyhow, the tree of us grew up and followed our own paths. Somewhere along the way; we stopped keeping in touch. Over 20 years passed by without us talking to or seeing each other. That is until recently. Amir Hoseein was brave enough to look us up. He found me through my sister’s Facebook profile and left a comment on this blog for me. It was a perfectly nice surprise. I always remember him with a bright smile on and hope he has managed to keep the smile going.

Alireza & I, 2/25/1977

Family Picture 2/25/1977, our house, Esfahan - on the couch from right-left: my uncle, his wife & my parents, front, right-left: Parisa, Amir Hossein & Parto

Alireza & I

When you stop talking to someone for as many years as we had; it becomes an odd and difficult task to start the dialog. But I wanted to give it a chance. So I called Alireza prior to leaving for San Francisco. Once I heard his familiar voice and we started talking, everything seemed easy. We finally met each other along with our spouses. Alireza and his lovely wife showed us great hospitality and we enjoyed their company. I also realized that my cousin is much nicer and more pleasant than I remembered him. Aging must agree with him 😉 .

Family Picture 2/26/1977- right-left, back: My Uncle, His Wife, My Parents, Me, Alireza, Parisa- front: Amir Hossein & Parto

By keeping out of touch, we tend to gradually tune out of each other’s lives. It does not necessary mean that we cease to care or like one another. We become entangled in the web of life and in surviving it; we forget about many important things.

So, is it easy to breathe new life into an old friendship?  The hardest part is always in initiating an effort and taking the first step forward. All I know for certain is that it is an effort and a step worth taking.

© 2010, livingamused. All rights reserved.

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5 Comments for this entry

  • Amir Nazari says:

    I remember that summer very well, although we did not manage to get a long all the times, but it was a very entertaining summer and you forgot to mention the big marbles Alireza bought that none of us could hold all of them in one hand. I got few pictures from same time and some from the time we went to Shah Abbas Dam. I need to scan them. Also, I did NOT finish third all the time 😎

    • livingamused says:

      You are right! After losing all the time, Alireza bought those huge marbles so they would not fit in our hands and he could then win. But I won anyways and he got so upset (such soar loser) that he threw them across the floor and one or two broke. THANK YOU for reminding me of that one. And he says he does not remember any of the bad things he used to do to us…
      Please send me the pictures once you have them scanned.
      p.s. You did end up last; but maybe not all the time :-)

  • The cousin says:

    You wrote more kindly about the events compared to when you were talking about it (and me) at the restaurant the other night :-)

    You must have a good memory because I do not remember most of what you described. I do remember you teaching us yeghol dogol though. The Photos, and those faces, take me back. Our parents were so young then, yet we thought they were so old.

    It was very nice seeing you again after all these years. Enjoyed the time we spend together in San Francisco along with the delightful man in your life. Hope to get to do it much more often.


    • livingamused says:

      I wrote kind words about you because I was being nice :-).
      But seriously, you seem to be deserving of them– at least for now.
      When I was looking over the photos, I remembered how much time we indeed spent together. It took us a very long time to make an attempt to move forward. As it’s often said, “better late than never”. I hope we find a way to stay in touch. It was good to meet your other half and your 4-legged buddy, Tootsie.
      Thanks for taking time to write.

      p.s. I do have a great and long memory. Everything I told you did happen and I still have stories to tell…

  • Teladost says:

    Nice photos. I love the soccer ball in the net. It brings back good memories for me. I enjoyed getting to know your cousin and his wife. I really liked their Shitzu, Tootsie.
    You guys on the first picture remind me of Roya and Arman seating together.

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